Week 8 NFL Picks

Well on weeks that I don’t watch much football, I apparently pull a 7-7 record.  That is not acceptable.  I’d like to thank Baltimore and Indy for continuing to confound me weekly.  You have earned my wrath, boys, so watch it.  Baltimore is getting my reverse voodoo and Indy may not be far behind.  On to the picks:

Tampa Bay over Dallas: I am so scared making this pick.  On paper, the Bucs should win this game handily.  Dallas is ravaged by injuries and Brad Johnson will be starting at QB.  Dallas just got bitchslapped by the Rams, so the Bucs should be able to replicate that and then some.  I just fear Dallas will get it’s crap together this week and go back to their winning ways.  Sigh.  I’ll go with my heart on this one, but I am not happy with it.

Washington over Detroit: Washington failed to impress me against the Browns last week.  They were not too good on offense but their defense played a decent game.  Still, they’re playing Detroit, captained by the infamous Dan Orlovsky (who really should have been my Douchetard a couple weeks ago when he ran out of the back of his own endzone, but I took pity on him).  Washington should win this one easily, though I said the same thing when they faced the Rams and look where that got me?

Buffalo over Miami: Miami came back to earth last week against Baltimore (thanks guys) and defensive coordinators have had a few weeks to figure out how to stop their high school playbook.  Buffalo continues to look strong, I thought they’d have a come down against San Diego but as usual, the Chargers continue to confound me and they handled them easily.  Buff is the pick here.

New England over St. Louis: Rams, are you finally going to stop overachieving and move back to your destiny of 3-13?  NE finally looked good on Monday night, thanks to a whole lot of turnovers.  More injuries have hit them but they should handle the Rams.

New Orleans over San Diego: Honestly, I have no idea how this game will go.  It’s in London and I don’t get to see it (thanks league rules saying I can’t see a game opposite my Bucs!).  I guess I trust Brees more than I do Rivers right now.  Bush is out, so that might factor in.  The fact is, neither of these teams is doing what they should be doing, they are wasting talented offensive players and underachieving big time.  Pick em, I’ll take the Aint’s.

NY Jets over KC: This is going to be a very boring game I think.  Larry Johnson is on the bench for being a jerk.  Favre hasn’t lit up the AFC East like we were led to believe.  The Chiefs are terrible and yet they continue to employ Herm and Carl.  It might be the best job in the world to work for KC or Detroit, look at how long these guys got to suck?  Lucky they aren’t owned by Al Davis I guess!  Anyway, Favre should be able to take KC at least.

Philly over Atlanta: Matt Ryan has been a revelation thus far, but he has yet to beat a team with a decent defense on the road.  Philly has not lived up to expectations this season either, but I have to believe they know they need to make a move here.  With Dallas stinking, the Skins back to earth and the Giants looking less awesome, they still have a chance to make some moves within the division.

Baltimore over Oakland: I will be picking Baltimore every week, since they insist on doing the opposite of what I say they’re going to do, so their choice will be either to do what I say or drop every game.  Suck on it Ravens.  In reality, they should take this one anyway, Oakland may have gotten their OT win against the Jets last week but the Jets don’t have Balt’s (slightly overrated but still good) defense.

Carolina over Arizona: I nearly picked AZ in this game, but I just don’t trust them on the road, not after that Jets performance a couple weeks ago.  Carolina looked dominant last week against the Saints, so we’ll see if they can ride the momentum this week.  I wouldn’t be surprised if Zona took it though.

Jacksonville over Cleveland: Oh Browns, you are such a sad little team on offense.  Throw in the Winslow drama and that doesn’t make me feel they could pull off the upset in Jax this weekend.  Weighing in on that, by the way, Winslow whining over not getting coddled enough by the team while he was in the hospital is to be expected.  He’s always been a bitchy diva, nothing new there.  I agree that the Browns need to do something about the staph infection stuff, but the GM does not have to call him when the coach and the rest of the team have.  And you don’t take that shit public.  Kellen, you’re an idiot.

Houston over Cincy: Cincy could get their first win this week, but I’m not betting on it.  Palmer’s still out, Ocho Cinco is still MIA, their defense sucks…nope, not this week.

Giants over Pittsburgh: Great game!  Could go either way, yet again.  Pitt is still pretty beat up, so I’m going with the Giants, though if they play the way they did the last couple of weeks they’ll be in trouble.  I get to watch this one, which is fun, I like seeing good matchups.

San Fran over Seattle: Oooh another Suck Bowl!  This is a toss up game as well, not sure which way to go, but it’s at SF so why not pick them?  They’ve actually been somewhat competitive in recent weeks while Seattle has not.  Maybe they could ask Jerry Rice to return and suit up for them for a week?  Very sad ending for Holmgren this year.

Tennessee over Indy: In Manning I no longer trust.  What was that last weekend?  What is going on with Indy?  Injured yes, old possibly?  I don’t get it.  You watch, Peyton will throw for 400 yards now.  Sigh.  I’m going with the team that can play D right now.

I didn’t do a wrap up this week due to my trip, but I do still have a Douchetard of the Week to share with you.  That illustrious award goes to the Vikings punt team, that gave up 2 TD to the Bears in a 1 TD loss.  For snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, the Vikings punt team is our Douchetard of the Week.

Last Week:  7-7

Season Record:  57-44

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