A Revisit To Preseason Predictions

September 29, 2008

Rather than doing my NFL Notes this week, I thought that since we are a quarter of the way through, we should go back and laugh at my preseason prognostication blog and make revised picks based upon what we’ve seen up to this point.  What better way to start a Monday than by laughing at oneself?  Without further ado, here’s what I said then and what I say now will be in red.

AFC East:

Patriots, Bills, Jets, Dolphins

Hee, obviously picks were based upon Brady’s health, so I’ve got some revising here.  I’m proud to say that I was ON with my Bills love.  I still think the Pats will edge the Jets for second, but it could go either way.

Bills, Patriots, Jets, Dolphins

AFC North:

Browns, Steelers, Bengals, Ravens

Well, I think we can safely say that the Browns have failed to live up to lofty expectations this year and the Ravens appear to be better than I was willing to give them credit for.

Steelers, Ravens, Browns, Bengals

AFC South:

Colts, Jags, Titans, Texans

Just a tad bit off on this selection!  Who’d have thought the Colts would fall so flat?  I worried about Manning’s knee but it’s the rest of the team, especially the defense, that is at issue here.

Titans, Jags, Colts, Texans

AFC West:

Chargers, Broncos, Chiefs, Raiders

I’m not feeling too badly on this one.  The Chargers are not playing that well yet but the Broncos defense is atrocious.  If I’m too make a change, it’ll be at the bottom on this one.  The Chiefs lack of QB disturbs me.

Chargers, Broncos, Raiders, Chiefs

AFC Playoffs:

Patriots, Colts, Chargers, Browns, Steelers & Jaguars

Let’s see, 2 of the 6 feel like good bets to me now.  Chargers and Steelers will likely be there in the end.  As to the rest?  I’ll stick with the Pats, due to easy scheduling, not to QB play and the Jags who are likely to get better.

Bills, Titans, Chargers, Steelers, Jags & Patriots.

NFC East:

Cowboys, Redskins, Giants, Eagles (toughest division to pick right here)

This remains the toughest division and as Sunday showed, these teams know each other well and are very capable of pulling the upset.  I obviously wasn’t high on the Super Bowl Champs which might be the worst of my preseason picks, but we’ll rectify that here.

Cowboys, Giants, Eagles, Redskins (all should have winning records barring injury)

NFC North:

Vikings, Packers, Bears, Lions

Ahhh Minny, I give you my faith in the preseason and you crap the field.  Should have known better than to go with a team without a QB.  Before this last group of games the Pack would be the easy pick to win the division but the Bears seem to be settling down a bit.  For now we’ll go with:

Packers, Bears, Vikings, Lions

NFC South:

Saints, Bucs, Panthers, Falcons

This is another tough division to forecast.  The Saints have the best O but a crappy D, Bucs and Panthers will continue to be enigmas all season long. I think Tampa is better than Carolina, so I’ll put them in the spotlight.  Do me proud boys.

Bucs, Panthers, Saints, Falcons

NFC West:

Seahawks, Cardinals, Rams, 49ers

Ahh the division of suck.  Will the Seahawks get healthy enough to take the division?  Will the Rams win a game?  I do not know.  Would have picked the Cardinals to win before they gave up 56 points to the New York Favres this weekend.

Seahawks, Cardinals, 49ers, Rams (keep that 0-16 alive for me!)

NFC Playoffs:

Cowboys, Saints, Seahawks, Vikings, Redskins and I’ll put my Bucs here, though I wouldn’t be surprised if both wildcard teams came from the NFC East.

Well I don’t feel too badly about these, I’d go with Cowboys, Seahawks, Packers, Bucs, Giants & Eagles.  The NFC East has to produce both wild cards right?

Superbowl:

Patriots defeat Cowboys

Clearly I am not sticking with this prediction.  I’m going to assume that the Chargers get their crap together, they have a very talented team.  I’m also going to give the champs their due credit.

Chargers over Giants

MVP:

Peyton Manning

Not unless he manages to carry that team deep into the postseason and I don’t see it right now.  Maybe I’ll go with little brother.  He doesn’t stand out like Peyton does but he’s just winning baby.

Eli Manning

Offensive Player of the Year:

Adrian Peterson

Eh, I don’t feel too badly about this one at this point.  I can’t think of anyone else lighting it up, maybe Drew Brees, but I’ll stay with AP.

Defensive Player of the Year:

this is tougher….I’ll go with a refreshed Jason Taylor on a new team

Seeing as Jason Taylor has been injured much of the first quarter, I’m thinking no.  I’ll go with Albert Haynesworth in Tennessee, their D is a monster right now.

Offensive Rookie of the Year:

Darren McFadden, Raiders

He’s not getting the playing time I figured on, so right now I’d lean toward Chris Johnson in Tennessee.

Defensive Rookie of the Year:

Sedrick Ellis, Saints

Stumped to think of any rookie on D that’s getting attention right now, so I’ll stick with the initial pick.

So that’s where I am right now.  I may sneak in and make some changes as sanity prevails, but this is what my heart says right now.  Any other football fans out there, feel free to add your picks in my comments section or just make fun of mine.  I’m sure they’ll be laughable by the time the season ends.

See, I got one thing very right.  My picks are downright laughable in retrospect.  I knew preseason prognosticating would bite me in the butt, but looking at these amused me and hopefully will amuse you as well.  I’ll revisit the revisiting halfway in and see if the NFL has righted itself a little or if chaos is still reigning supreme.

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The Fix Is In

September 28, 2008

I was ready to do my college football wrap-up post lauding the USC loss and laughing over the fact that they were more than likely out of the national championship race already.  Then Saturday’s games happened and it’s clear, the fix is in.  The NCAA, in order to save itself some money after having already engraved the crystal trophy with USC’s future win, must have pulled some strings to have the rest of the top teams dropping like flies.  First, Florida loses to Ole Miss in the Swamp.  I could see it at Ole Miss, but in their own house???  Then Wisconsin loses to an inept Michigan team.  The ACC’s only undefeated team (although they should have lost last week), Wake Forest loses to NAVY.  Yes, I said Navy!  Then GA gets waxed by Alabama at home.  I could have picked GA to lose, but not to get dominated the way they did.  You watch, USC will be ranked something like #5 despite their loss because of all these other teams going down.

Oh, one more USC/Oregon State comment.  Jacquiz Rogers is the man and now my second college boyfriend behind Knowshon.  In order to be my college boyfriend, you have to be awesome and have a very cool name.  It doesn’t get much cooler than Knowshon and Jacquiz.  Congrats boys, you have been selected for a high honor.  Knowshon didn’t get much of a chance to shine tonight, with GA falling behind 31-0 at halftime, but I don’t think that hurts his Heisman chances.  It’s not like he’s a QB costing the team the game!

Getty
Getty

 

 

Returning to the aforementioned Florida game, I only have one thing to say: HAHAHAHAHAH!!!  That was awesome.  Alright, I have more than one thing to say, but the overriding emotion is sheer hilarity.  Why did Florida lose?  Because precious Tebow could not convert a 4th and 1/2 with 50 seconds left.  That was funny in and of itself, since UF fans will swear to you that Tebow walks on water and converts said water into wine in his spare time.  But even worse was the fact that they were in field goal range.  I realize their kicker is not the best on the planet, and they had the extra point that would have tied it blocked, but they could have at least made the attempt.  But no, the hubris of Urban Meyer bit the Gators on the ass.  Yeah, Tebow is f’in Superman.  Tell me a new one Gator fans.  Just remember, you still lost 4 games when Mr. Perfect was handed the Heisman.  He can keep winning Heisman’s and losing games, that’s just fine by me.

Wisconsin was once again exposed as a pretender when they lost at Michigan today.  They had a big lead but couldn’t maintain against a team that’s had as an anemic an offense as I’ve seen.  The Big 10 just can’t compete on a national stage running their old school offenses anymore.  Penn State remains undefeated, for now, and they seem to have an offense, but wake me when they play someone decent.   IL is ok but hardly a powerhouse.  I believe Northwestern is 5-0 but they’re unranked so that tells me something about the quality of teams they’ve been playing.

I like a couple of teams in the Big 12 but I don’t yet know for sure how good they really are as they’ve played nobody.  OK, Missouri and Texas are all undefeated, but we need them to start playing one another to have a true measuring stick.  And no, OK beating up on TCU does not count for me.  They’re the Horned Frogs, nuff said.

My Noles should be 4-0 this week.  I said last week that Wake didn’t win that game, the Noles lost it and I stand by that this week.  Especially with Wake having gone down to NAVY of all people.  If Wake doesn’t get turnovers, they don’t win, period.  My Noles were pretty good against Colorado today.  The defense is for real, and they have still been solid in recent years, but they were dominant most of the game.  Two late scores for Colorado made it look less respectable, but we were in prevent at that time.  I hate prevent by the way.  Christian Ponder didn’t play very well in the first half but he seemed to have found his confidence in the second half.  He was greatly helped by the running game.  For the first time that I can remember the Noles ran for over 200 yards.  Antoine Smith had a great game, including a 60 yard TD run and 2 other rushing TD’s.  We need to cultivate that running game to offset the inexperience at QB.  There were a few less penalties this game too, certainly no backbreaking ones like last week.  Nice to see.  If only we had had just one of those special teams plays last week, we’d have won that game against Wake.  Woulda, coulda, shoulda.  Sigh.

I thought Miami might be the cream of the crop in the NCAA but then they lost at home to UNC.  I must say, that game was very exciting.  Miami was throwing for the winning TD and somehow the UNC corner plucked the ball out of the WR’s hands to seal off the game.  Awesome.  I don’t know who the best team in the ACC is, though arguing that might be futile anyway.  With no undefeated teams left, the ACC is hardly in the running for best conference.

AP

Ohio State had Beanie Wells back today and he and Pryor combined to have a decent game.  One can only wonder what they would have done with Beanie and Pryor against USC.  I guarantee it would have been a lot closer than it actually was.

LSU was decent against Miss State.  There was a time there when they were only up by 7 and it looked like Miss might hang with them but they pulled away in the second half.  I bet they’ll move up to #2 behind Oklahoma.  Looking forward to whenever they play Bama, whomever wins that one might have the inside track to the SEC championship.

I honestly think it’s safe to say that parity reigns in college football.  I mean, truly, who is a powerhouse anymore?  USC, clearly not.  OK?  Can’t say yet.  UF, nope.  AL?  They look good but they’re not scary.  There is no air of invincibility like teams like Miami had in the 80’s and early 00’s, FSU in the 90’s, Nebraska in their heyday.  Maybe they should make a movie called On Any Given Saturday, because it sure feels like anybody could be had these days.

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The Fall of Troy

September 26, 2008
AP
AP

This past week I’ve been somewhat depressed (and rightfully distressed) by my Alma Mater’s poor showing this past weekend, but after last night, I don’t feel so bad…or do I?  Between the collapse of Washington Mutual and the Trojan Horse that was Oregon State, what are we going to do?  Poor Pete Carroll, he was like the mythical King Priam of Troy, elated when golden boy Paris brings Helen of Sparta home and then deeply, deeply troubled when he has to go to the Greeks and ransom Hector’s body back.   (That was for my Dad, who used to ask me “Brandi, why do you take so many classes on Ancient Greece?” in college.  Answer: “So I can one day use my knowledge of mythology to ridicule PAC 10 schools”.).

Of course, USC’s loss is the SEC’s gain…until the SEC teams start picking each other off.  Because let me reiterate this most important of points, USC and teams from the SEC are the only teams that could be eligible to win the National Championship, at least according to the media.  This USC loss is huge.  I want John McCain and Barack Obama to take time from their busy schedule of fixing the economy to comment on THE MOST IMPORTANT EVENT OF THE WEEK.  I also want to hear from Sarah “I can see USC from my house” Palin.  I want Nancy Grace to camp outside The Coliseum taking calls from all of my distraught LA pals.  That’s how monumental this is…except this happens to USC like every year.  Honestly, shouldn’t we just expect this by now?

Speaking of foregone conclusions, the Gators host Ole Miss this weekend.  I predict this game will only be rough on the fans since it takes place at 12:30 which means that many kids including my brother will be too hungover to daydrink to their best capabilities.

US Presswire
US Presswire

Elsewhere in the BEST CONFERENCE OF ALL TIME, Auburn hopes to rebound against Tennessee, while the Vols pray that all of their traveling fans remain in their seats until the 4th Quarter.  Then there’s the Blackout.  Sigh.  Florida State has attempted two Blackouts, one of which resulted in one of my now-famous “Letters of Truth”.  I don’t think The Blackout serves any real purpose other than getting drunk kids to buy black T-shirts, but I believe the Bulldogs will pull ahead, while the Bamafans will file this away under the heading “Reasons to Fire Saban”.

In Florida State News, they travel to Jacksonville for some inane reason to play Colorado.  They better pull off a win because I don’t want to spend another Saturday night, in shock, contemplating burning clothing.  Also, Clemson plays Maryland.   Bowden loyalty be damned, I’m going for Maryland.  North Carolina State plays my new nemesis, USF, and I hope the Wolf Pack can pull this off.  I can’t deal with so many football programs in Florida.

While we’re on the topic of things that bother me: Penn State.  It goes like this: the more Penn State wins and Florida State loses, the longer the Paterno/Bowden feud will linger.  Now, I would really like Bobby to regain the lead in Most NCAA Wins, but not at the expense of the program.  Look, I loved that old primetime soap Dallas, but even Larry Hagman realized that good things need to come to an end.  Anyway, all selfishness on my part aside, why is this the Saturday Evening Football game?  Oh that’s right, because USC graciously ceded the timeslot away played on Thursday.

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Week 4 NFL Picks

September 25, 2008

After a stellar 10-5 week, I feel I’m on the right track.  I’ve got it figured out now, so these picks should be dead on from here on out.  That or I’ll go below .500 for the first time, I can feel it coming.  Let’s see what this week holds, shall we?

Cleveland over Cincy: In the battle for who starts 1-3 and who starts 0-4.  It should be gripping and exciting.  Or it could be the most boring game of the weekend.  You decide.  It’s now or never for Cleveland.  As for Cincy?  They should just start over.

Tennessee over Minnesota: Minny got the right track last week with the Gus Frerotte era, but I think they come back down to earth against that Tennessee defense.  Who would have thought Tenn could be 4-0 to start the year?  Not me, that’s for sure!

Denver over KC: If I had any money to bet, I’d bet it all on Denver.  KC is atrocious.  The Tyler Thigpen (WHO?) era got off to an inauspicious start last week.  Will KC ever win or are they my best shot at 0-16?  I’ll have to see if they play the Rams at all.

New Orleans over San Fran: The 9ers are showing definite signs of life, but they’re showing them against crappy teams like the Rams and Seattle (sorry but I could start at WR for the Hawks and I’m 5′4″).  NO had a heartbreaker at Denver last week and I expect them to return to form here.  Shockey’s absence won’t hurt them this game.

Arizona over the Jets: I’m going out on a limb here, shouldn’t bet against Favre three weeks in a row probably but I just don’t think the Jets are that great, sorry.  Zona gagged at the Skins last week but I think they’ll be back to form this week.

Green Bay over Tampa Bay: Ahh the battle of teams that were in the Favre mess but didn’t land him. Much anticipated.  Or not.  Tampa had a stirring come back win last weekend against Chicago and GB got stomped pretty badly by Dallas.  But GB has an offense and the Bucs D has been getting tired in the second half of games, so GB is the pick.

Carolina over Atlanta: The seesaw continues for Matt Ryan.  Bad defense, good defense, bad defense, good defense.  He’s won the bad D games and form should hold and he’ll lose the good D games.

Jacksonville over Houston: The Jags finally got back on track last week, their running game was well over 200 yards and Gerrard protected the ball.  Houston is terrible and seems to have stepped back this year after having some positive movement this year.  Jags with the win.

San Diego over Oakland: Lane Kiffin is still employed right?  Why does Al Davis drag this stuff out?  SD was back in form this weekend and I don’t see them losing here without having half the team go down.

Buffalo over St. Louis: And the Bills go to 4-0 also.  What a strange year this is.  Meanwhile, the Rams have Trent Green at QB.  Did anybody see that and think, Trent Green?  I thought he was retired!  What year is this?  Just me?  Ok…well I don’t know when Trent last played but it’s been awhile.  I don’t foresee this experiment going well, but who knows, maybe he’ll be the next Gus Frerotte (surprisingly that is not a slam this year, hehe).

Dallas over Washington: The Skins were good last week but I don’t think they have the offense to hang with Dallas.  The Boys roll along.

Philly over Chicago: The Bears had the kind of game that can affect a season, giving up 10 points in the final 6 minutes and then losing their cool in OT and losing the game.  Philly has been impressive, even in their one loss to Dallas.  Easy pick here.

Pittsburgh over Baltimore: I remain a nonbeliever in the Ravens.  Maybe their D is back to form but that inexperienced offense has to cost them a game here or there right?  Ben got beaten up badly last weekend but I think the Steelers pull it out in a slugfest.

Last Week:10-5

Season Record: 26-20

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Nole’s NFL Notes Week 3

September 22, 2008
AP
AP

Week 3 in the NFL was another wild one, with two overtime games and a couple last second wins.  There was actually some defense played, which is nice, and one Manning magic drive was a game winner and another was just a footnote after the Jags drove the field in about a minute and kicked the game winning TD.  Anyway, on to the thoughts.

  • I guess I’ll start with the game I’m most familiar with, Tampa at the Bears.  I thought the game was over when the Bears came back from being down 14-6 to take a 17-14 lead.  The Bucs running game was virtually nonexistent, Griese and the receivers were not hooking up and the Bucs had several bad turnovers.  Before you could blink, it was 24-14 with 6 minutes left.  The Bucs drove the field and got a field goal, a very tired defense got the ball back to the offense and they drove the field and scored a TD to tie the game.  In OT, the Bears had the Bucs pinned at their own 6 and seemingly had them stopped on 3rd down but Tillman got a 15 yard personal foul penalty to extend the drive.  Tampa went back into hurry up offense and got down to the 3 before kicking a field goal.  The Bears defeated Tampa in OT 2 years ago so this time, turnabout was fair play.
  • Griese passed 67 times in the win, completing 38 of them.  He was by far most effective in the hurry up, accounting for all the scoring.
  • The game was marred by fighting that started on the first possession of the game.  Donald Penn and Tillman got into it and there were a couple of skirmishes later, finally ending with Tillman’s really costly one in overtime.  On review, Tampa’s Trueblood started it, but as we saw in the first quarter when Tampa got the flag, it’s the second guy who gets punished most of the time.  Very costly move by Tillman.
  • Pittsburgh needed 2 scores at the of the game to win but they chose to go for the touchdown on 4th and 10 instead of kicking the field goal and trying to get the ball back.  There have been some really crappy coaching decisions this year, you’d think after seeing the Browns stupidly go for 3 when they needed 7 that Tomlin and co would no better but no.  Philly got the win in a surprising defensive battle, 15-6.  Westbrook went out with an injury, but they think it was just an ankle strain I guess so he should be back soon.
  • Today we got two examples of that old Manning magic, one by Peyton, one by Eli.  I used to say “In Manning I trust” when making my Colts picks, it looks like I really need to start putting it toward the Giants as well.  They had to rally to go into OT against the Bengals but Manning found Plaxico in OT and led the team to another field goal.  The champs are 3-0 and looking good so far.
  • Big brother Peyton managed to bring his team back from being down 20-14 to take the lead 21-20 with less than two minutes left.  Unfortunately for him, Gerrard worked some of his own magic and the Jags drove the field and got their first win with a field goal with 8 seconds remaining.  Still, Peyton is amazing to watch in those moments and you know if he’d have had a minute, we probably would have had a different ending.
  • The Colts D got gashed by the Jags running game.  Oh what a difference that defense is without Bob Sanders on the field.  I think we’ll see some more struggles from them.
  • The Jags weren’t the only predicted playoff team to get their first win today, Minnesota finally chalked one up in the win column.  Gus Frerotte was the answer at QB, at least for one day.  They finally scored a passing touchdown, so that’s an improvement right?
  • Denver, the team without a defense, went to 3-0 today by holding off the Saints 34-32.  The Saints are defensively challenged as well so this one must have been a fun one.  I didn’t get to see it so I can’t tell you much, but until Denver gets better on the defensive side of the ball I won’t expect much of them.
  • Ahhh Martin Gramatica missed a 43 yarder with less than 2 minutes to go and Denver was able to hang on that way.  Not overly impressive, but I’m glad that Martin is back to doing what he was doing his later years in Tampa.  At least this time he helped us with a miss, I’ll take it.
  • Well, welcome to the NFL Matt Cassel.  Miami kicked the crap out of NE at their own house today.  The NE defense had been rather stout up til today, but today Ronnie Brown ran for 4 TD’s and threw for another.  I still think NE could go to the playoffs but they’ve got to play better on defense.
  • I am not that surprised that Miami got the win, even with Brady behind center Miami usually plays them tough.
  • The 0-16 dream remains alive for another week.  The Rams, Chiefs, Bengals, Browns and Lions all checked in with losses, with only the Bengals showing a bit of heart today.  They’ll be in the win column sooner than the other three I imagine.
  • First coach fired after Al Davis gets rid of Lane Kiffin, probably this week?  I’m still going with Linehan in St. Louis, but any of the 5 winless could go first, though I bet the Browns won’t can Crennel.
  • A quick word about Cleveland though, really?  The Ravens?  Talk about folding under expectations.  I don’t see them coming back from this.
  • On the other end of the spectrum, the Bills, Titans, Broncos & Giants are all 3-0.  I don’t think I would have picked any of these teams to be the front runners going into the season, but there you have it.  Maybe the Giants, but I really did think they were more of a fluke.
  • The Bills continue to impress, especially Trent Edwards.  The kid is cool under pressure and drove them to yet another last second win.  Right now they’re my money pick to win the AFC East, mark it down.
  • Matt Ryan must have been thrilled to get away from Tampa and hit yet another team without a defense.  Could playing 2 of your first 3 games against the Lions and Chiefs be the best way to enter the NFL?  I say yes.  I also say, don’t get too excited, Atlanta, cause the 2 teams you’re tied with in your division do know how to play defense.  Enjoy the cupcakes while you can!
  • And Green Bay comes a little bit back to earth.  Aaron Rodgers has had a couple glorious weeks but the reality is that Dallas is just a better team.  GB’s fine, they’ll take their division but I don’t expect them to make much noise in the playoffs when all is said and done.
  • Only two catches for TO on Sunday night, though he opened things up for the rest of the Boys.  Miles Austin anyone?  Still, he apparently didn’t talk to the press after the game, I’d lay money that he was irritated not to shine on a big stage.

Going into the Monday night game I’m 9-5, so we’ll be above .500 for another week.  This thrills me because the early scores were not promising today and I was sure I was going to turn in an all time low.  See you next week for whatever craziness week 4 holds.

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Well that was horrible

September 22, 2008
AP
AP

Let’s be honest: there’s not much that I can say about the Seminole defeat that hasn’t already been said, so I’ll just go through my thoughts while watching the game:

  • 5 pm-6:45 pm: Why am I like the oldest person at my alumni viewing party? (P.S. I’m not even 30, yet I was one of the few people there that could count the number of Seminole losses during their tenure on one hand. Four by the way.)
  • 6:45-7:00 pm: For my money, you can’t get any better than Chief Osceola and Renegade.  Riding to the 50 yard line with the flaming spear is like the best college opening ever (get over it, Clemson).  Little would I know that this would be the highlight of my gameday.
  • Approximately 7:15 pm: FSU throws first interception.  I think Ponder is jittery.
  • 7:15-8:00 pm: Jitters be damned, I am now silently cursing Ponder for giving all those “we’re going to win” interviews.  They look real smart in retrospect, don’t they?  I also compose my latest “letter of truth” to the FSU Athletic Department in my head wherein I demand that our players stick to a canned script when talking to the media.
  • Halftime-The game is really serious because Bobby has put on the headset at least three times.  Honestly, who is he even talking to?  Both Jimbo and Mickey are on the field, so I’m left to wonder if Bobby is actually making a reality of the proverbial “Bobby orders a pizza on the sideline” joke.  To distract myself, I make a point of watching Bobby’s State Trooper, Billy.  Billy is like my favorite person on the sideline.  I enjoy watching the end of the games (this is better when we actually win) because Billy will frequently shake the opposing coach’s hand as well.  Sometimes he also talks to the players.  I read this article one time about how after a particular win against the Gators, Billy drove Bobby back to Tallahassee in the Crown Vic and Bobby made Billy blast the sirens as they headed to Doak Campbell.  Then I start thinking that Bobby and Billy are probably buddies who like to eat at Sonny’s BBQ together.  Maybe on a good day, when Gene Deckerhoff and Burt Reynolds are in town they hit up Outback Steakhouse.
  • Third Quarter: More interceptions.  I go into Crazy Mode where I start telling guys at my table that they can’t get up to take smoke breaks because they’re throwing off our game.  I am highly superstitious and I contemplate burning the clothes I am wearing and never going to this sports bar for another game again.  I momentarily come out of my haze when we score a field goal.  Of course the other patrons in the bar go wild and start singing the Florida State fight song.  I sit there, stone faced, like I’m Bill Belichick.  (Ha! Now we’ve both had a bad week!)
  • Fourth Quarter: As it becomes increasingly more likely that the Noles will never score a touchdown (or successfully complete a pass to anyone wearing a garnet jersey) I start watching the Georgia game on another TV and notice that they’ve brought the latest Uga all the way to Arizona.  They really went all out, I mean it’s expensive to fly a pet.  I then wonder if Uga meets the weight requirement to fly in the cabin.  This distracts me for a good four minutes.   About this time, I realize that Jesse Palmer is a commentator in the ABC Studio.  I wonder what Steve Spurrier thinks about all this.  I mean, I’m sure Steve never thought that old Jesse would show up on The Bachelor.  After that debacle, I guess the ABC gig is actually a pretty sweet deal.  I then get really evil (I’m bitter, y’all) and I imagine Tebow’s pro-career not igniting, forcing him to star on some godawful, VH1 Celebreality dating show called Scoring with Tim Tebow.
  • Two minutes before game ends: It just keeps getting worse.  The expression on my face is a combination of Brenda Walsh’s “I hate you both.  Never speak to me again” and Peyton Manning’s every time he plays the Patriots.  I think I’m starting to scare the girls at my table. 
  • Game ends: I immediately call my father and we re-hash the loss.  First of all, how is it possible that the Seminoles play worse with Preston Parker?  Scary.  I was up all night, just sick about all this.  (Honestly, mainly because I talked so much trash earlier in the week.  See Christian Ponder, learn from my mistakes.)  Secondly, now Bobby Bowden is behind Paterno in total wins, which means that he’s going to stretch this out until he over takes JoePa again.  Great.  Thirdly, do the kids want to play in the Pros?  Because in the NFL, you actually have to catch the ball, hold on to the ball, and throw the ball to a person on your own team.  Although I guess you could just do really well in the Combines, but that’s not helping my stress level.  Come on Seminoles, I’ve endured taunts from all my Gator friends since I was in elementary school.  Also I’m taking my Virginia Tech friends to the game next month and I can’t accept anything less than a ten point victory (or else there’s going to be another strongly worded “letter of truth”.)

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The Noles Roll…Into The Fetal Position & Cry For Mommy

September 21, 2008
Original image courtesy of Scalpem

I’m going to try to write coherently even though 10 hours later I have a lot of residual rage over the most bumbling offensive game I’ve seen in a long time.  I mean, I don’t understand what happened there.  And I’ll be honest, after half time I only flipped back to see if the offense could get its head out of its ass because they weren’t worth my time otherwise.  I know Wake beat FSU 31-0 a couple of years ago, who could forget really?, but I honestly don’t remember that offense being as terrible as the one we put on the field last night.  7 turnovers, really?  And a bunch of them were just awful, like Ponder & Richardson thought we were in the white jerseys.

The truly galling thing is that defense played awesome football.  They held Wake to 12 points, all field goals, despite 7 turnovers.  They deserved a win and I honestly thought for the longest time they’d get one.  I figured they’d have to do the scoring, but the Noles D can and does score so why not?  Alas, it was not to be.  On their best turnover, Carter picked up a fumble and advanced it to the Wake 30, but we got consecutive penalties that moved us back to the FSU 20.  The hell?  how do you lose 50 yards in a play or two?

I realize that the Nole’s first two opponents were cupcakes, but the fact is we hadn’t handled the cupcakes like cupcakes in about 8 years.  We struggled with them, gave up a lot of points and usually at the half I was worried that we were going to lose to a division 2 or subschool or whatever they call that division these days.  But those two games did something the past 5 years had not done, they gave me hope that FSU was on the right path.  Last night I got sucker punched in the gut by that hope, like being taunted by the football gods for daring to believe.  I still have a sliver of hope left, I think the talent is there but it needs to be coached up.  I didn’t like them benching Ponder for Richardson, musical QB’s has never worked for FSU.  If Ponder earned the starting job, let him stick it out and see if he can bring us back.  It was only 3-0 at that time for crying out loud.  Yes, he was sucking, but Richardson quite obviously didn’t do much better.  I don’t mind bringing him in for option plays but if it’s Ponder’s team, let him run it.

Alright, the Noles stuff is out of my system and I can talk about the other, much more awesome games that I spent my time on.  LSU/Auburn…so awesome!  The big hits and great defense, for awhile, followed by big plays and comebacks and excitement.  Both teams were great, I was very impressed.  LSU came away with the win and they have to be thrilled.  I know they’ve got a new QB this year but they haven’t missed a step.  Auburn was also impressive, they’re opening up their offense (after last weeks 3-2 win, haha) and they have some good pieces in place.

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My college boyfriend this year is one Knowshon Moreno of GA.  Did you guys see his first touchdown?  He flew into the air like Superman with the arm extended.  It was incredible looking.  GA looked much better this week than they have the first two, hope they’re finding their stride because their schedule is brutal starting next week.

That opponent that UGA pounded?  Arizona State.  Of the Pac of Nobodies Except USC conference.  Oregon lost to Boise State yesterday as well.  Boise State is awesome, see the BCS game against OK a couple years ago, but COME ON.  UCLA lost again after getting pasted by BYU last week.

Remember when everyone wrote the ACC off week one because Clemson got their butts kicked by Alabama?  Well I said then that it was a little early to do so and this week helped my point.  Miami waxed Texas A&M at home yesterday.  North Carolina State knocked off #15 East Carolina.  GA Tech beat the heck out of Miss State and Boston College beat up on UCF, who had an awesome game just a week ago against ranked USF.  Clemson choking in a big game to start the year was almost a guarantee.  They always choke in big games.  I think the media picked the wrong team to take the conference.  Miami is looking like they’re back.

In the discussion about worst conference, you have to throw the Big Least in with the Pac of Nothing But USC conference.  West Virginia, who for some inexplicable reason was still ranked after East Carolina kicked them up and down the field, lost again.  They were supposed to be the cream of the conference.  The only team there that looks like they’ll take the crown, USF, struggled with Florida International.  WTH?  They’ve not been nearly as impressive as they were last year, Grothe is a senior and I can’t see them reloading and contending after he’s gone.

Don’t worry, Notre Dame, I haven’t forgotten you.  Remember last week when you beat Michigan and people took that as a sign that you were coming back to prominence?  Um no…Michigan just sucks that badly.  Michigan State dominated the game and the only thing that kept ND close for awhile was that they held them to field goals.  Javon Ringer is a beast and he’ll be a heck of an NFL back.  Sorry ND, back to mediocrity for you.

Ohio State, back from, it’s pasting by USC, won unimpressively (new word) over Troy, but props to them for turning the team over to Pryor.  He’s a real talent and it’s worth a loss here or there to get the future of your team experience.  Next year will be a whole new ball game (see Noles, this is how we do it).

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The only conference that could give SEC a run for the best conference this year is the Big 12 but most of them have yet to play anybody of substance, so I’m withholding judgment.  OK looks impressive, but we’ll see when the play someone decent.  Ditto Texas.  I really like Missouri, they have the best QB in their conference, but they played a sloppy game yesterday, won by 21 but it didn’t seem like it.  We’ll see…I will wait til they play one another to judge what they have.

So another week goes by and these are the things I learned this week; the SEC is looking good, the Noles are NOT back, the Pac-10 is a bunch of posers and few teams have been tested yet.  Next week we’ll see what’s what.  Until then, if you see FSU’s offense wandering the streets, please point them back to Tallahassee.

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