My long, Penn State, National Nightmare is over


On Saturday, November 1st, I entered into a self-imposed NCAA football exile that lasted until 3:30 pm on Saturday, November 8th.  The crushing FSU defeat was just too much for me.  I couldn’t handle the ESPN coverage, the twelve emails I get from the Official Seminoles website and the Facebook status updates.  It was all too much, so I stopped watching Gameday, didn’t read any sports articles and I had to learn by word of mouth about Phil Fulmer.  Luckily for me, the Election and Susan Lucci getting voted off of Dancing with the Stars proved to be huge distractions.

Of course, the Seminoles were able to pull off a win against Clemson in the first non-Bowden bowl in years.  I’ll be honest: I’ve always hated the Bowden Bowl so I’m not really crying in my pillow at night about the it.  With that being said, I’m extremely happy that the running game has returned, we beat Clemson at home and Bobby pulled out a win on his birthday. 

I thought it was really sweet of Iowa to give Bobby Bowden a one-win advance on Joe Paterno’s lead.  Hopefully Joe Pa will give me a Christmas present and retire in January.

Of course Penn State’s loss is Florida’s gain as the Gators beat up my one time hope, Vandy.  Remember how strong Vandy was out of the gate?  It reminded me of how I was so certain that Rudy Giuliani was going to be the Republican nominee and then he wasted all of his campaign time and money in Florida and we ended up with McCain and a Neiman Marcus shopper who can see Russia from her house.  So now everyone I know is planning SEC Championship tailgates and I’m hoping that we win out and Wake Forest loses again. 

What’s up with USC? How can I continue to make fun of them if they only outscore their opponent by 14 points?  For people living in Los Angeles, they’re not making a very impressive showing for November Sweeps.  Seriously, Pete Carroll’s evil twin should show up or Sanchez should show up on Gameday with Teri Hatcher on his arm.  Something.  Come on guys, you’re losing in ratings to the Big XII.  A conference lacking any kind of discernible defense.  That’s another thing.  I’m getting confused (and a little bored) with all the Texas and Oklahoma teams.  Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, etc.  Since the defenses don’t show up, why don’t they just settle the conference title game by having on of those carnival booths where all the quarterbacks can just throw the football into a hole?  That would be like a good, thirty second clip tailor made for SportsCenter.


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