The league giveth and the league taketh away. You know, watching Tampa self destruct against Oakland yesterday had my blood pressure shooting up to unsafe levels but then a beautiful thing happened to restore order to my personal land. Firstly, the dream was achieved, with Green Bay hanging on to a much too close victory over Detroit. 0-16…I have finally seen the day! Then, even better, Philly destroyed Dallas, slapping them all over the field like they were red-headed step children (apologies to all the red-headed step children that may read this, it’s just a saying!) And all of a sudden I didn’t care that my morons choked away a 10 point lead to the Raiders. Dallas was out of the playoffs and all was well yet again. On to the thoughts:
- I, of course, must begin with 0-16…a pinnacle as of yet unheard of in the league. Someone always manages to sneak in a win, like Miami last year (thanks again Ravens) to destroy my hope. But this year Detroit came through for me. For that I will always love them. Thank you, Matt Millen, for building the perfect team of suckery! Thank you, Rod Marinelli, for being incapable of eeking out one win this season. Thank you Dan Orlovsky, just for being some random QB that lost a lot of games. Thank you, Dante Culpepper, for not saving the day when you unretired. Sorry, Calvin Johnson, that Detroit stole you from my Bucs. I will miss you til the day you retire.
- Farewell Cadillac Williams. Another blown left knee. I’m so sorry for you, I hate to see that happen to any player, let alone one of my own who worked so hard to come back. I really think losing you knocked all the wind out of our sails, though you aren’t to blame for the crappy tackling exhibited by my once vaunted defense.
- What happened to my Bucs? Well, a mediocre offense that can’t be bothered to score unless they’re running the 2 minute drill or coming from behind in the second half was a big contributor. A defense that is unable to get any pressure on the QB was another BIG contributor. Tampa needs a pass rush like yesterday. I better see D-line addressed heavily in the draft this year. Garcia was also an issue, not patient at all, happy feeting all over the place and making some bad decisions, missing some wide open receivers. It was really ugly and I have no more words for my team. They sucked, moving on.
- Luckily the Bucs were not alone. The Bears had everything on the line and managed to lose to Houston. The real pisser of this game was that I initially was picking Houston to win and then I second guessed myself and changed it. For that I blame the Bears more heavily. The Bears loss didn’t hurt them in the end, due to Minny’s win over the Giants, but still, they could have won to make things more interesting when Minny was going for that game winning FG.
- Another team that tanked was the vaunted NY Jets. News broke early today that Mangini got shit canned. As a Patriots supporter, I won’t deny this made me laugh. Karma’s a bitch, Eric. And I’m sure the great folks in Green Bay were laughing watching Favre throw 3 picks in a must win game…sounds familiar doesn’t it? All credit, though, goes to Miami. From 1-15 to a 3rd in the AFC. Fantastic. Bill Parcells must have a deal with the devil. Also congrats to Chad Pennington, nothing feels better than sticking it to your ex team and getting a playoff spot to boot.
- The Miami win knocked the Pats out of the playoffs, which is very disappointing as I would have liked to see how Cassel performed in the playoffs. With news that Brady might not be back next year, it’ll be interesting to see if they hold on to Matty or if they’re spreading lies to jack up the asking price. Wouldn’t put it past Bill, would ya?
- The game of the day must have been Carolina/New Orleans. It looked like NO was gonna pull the upset and knock Carolina to the 5th seed but instead Delhomme found Steve Smith (who else?) for a big gainer and they kicked a game winning FG. Hilariously Drew Brees still had a chance at Marino’s yards record with one second left but his receiver broke off the route and the ball hit the ground, leaving Brees 16 yards short of the mark. I find that amusing, probably because I don’t care about the Saints.
- One of the most interesting teams heading into the playoffs has to be the Chargers. They’ve been on fire in recent weeks and they demolished Denver last night to claim the final slot. It’ll be interesting to see them play Indy next week, I’m not as confident in an Indy victory as I was a day ago. Well I’ll do my picks in a few days, so we’ll see which way I go then.
- Congrats to Minnesota for edging into the playoffs with a 20-19 victory over the Giants. And thank you, Giants for the nice little David Carr sighting you provided. My mom and I appreciated it. So pretty! On topic, Minny has to be a bit concerned about Adrian Peterson’s fumbling issues. He needs to be more careful with the ball. I don’t think Minny will make any noise in the playoffs but if they do it will be because of AD, so he needs to hold on to the football.
- Yesterday wasn’t a good day for injuries. Caddy with his knee, Madison in NY, Big Ben in Pitt…we’ll see if this effects anything for these teams. Losing a corner won’t help the Giants any and Big Ben’s head better be straight before the playoffs hit.
- Lastly, can I just state again how friggin hilarious it was to see Philly smack the shit out of Dallas? How many fumbles did Romo lose? 5? Alright I think it was 2 or 3, but it sure felt like 5. Not to mention an interception. And that fumble by Barber that got returned 96 yards for a TD…a thing of utter beauty. I haven’t laughed that much watching a football game in years. Loved every shot of TO yelling on the sidelines in the first half, I think he quickly figured out it wasn’t worth it though, he was quiet in the second half. Pacman had a fumble, Roy Williams was a nonentity and Romo looked like a lost little boy out there. Just perfection. Congrats to Philly, an interesting addition to the playoffs and a potential threat to every team there. I’m looking forward to seeing how they do. Funny how a few weeks ago they wanted McNabb and Reid run out of town huh? Also a shout out to Brian Dawkins who caused a couple of the fumbles and was all over the field, including directing the crowd in their Eagles song. Classic.
I had a hard time coming up with the Douchetard this week, there were so many great choices really. And I have to bestow two because that’s just how we roll on a week such as this. So, the first Sage Rosenfels Memorial Douchetard of the Week award winner is my own Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Yep, the whole team gets this one for losing 4 straight and playing their way right out of the playoffs. It took a team effort to lose to Oakland and make Michael Bush look like Walter Peyton, so the whole team gets props. Our other Douchetard goes to living legend Brett Favre, for his 3 pick day against Miami with the playoffs on the line. Ok, they were on the line for NE at that point but still, inexcusable that he comes up so lousy in yet another big game. Even more, the reason he’s really getting this reason is because now I have to go through another few months of the Favre Retirement Watch. I thought I was blissfully free of it after last year but then they came back and we have to go through it all again. So, Brett Favre, congrats on your Douchetard Award…more special hardware to follow I imagine!
Those are the main highlights I wanted to hit this week. It has been an interesting year and week 17 lived up to the rest of the season as well. I went 10-6 this week, so that feels much better than last week’s terrible showing. Back later in the week with a look at the playoff match ups and bestowing some awards.
Last Week: 10-6
Season Record: 160.5-94.5